summer wrap-up.

It's been a couple months since my last post, and now here I sit, enjoying my last day before I head back to my beautiful IWU to begin my sophomore year. And surprisingly, I'm experiencing some mixed emotions about it.

While it sometimes seemed like this day would never arrive, it boggles my mind to think just how quickly this summer has passed. Last summer seemed to drag on forever...it seemed like college would never arrive, and then the year flew by much more quickly than I ever expected. My older friends have told me that time passes much faster the older you get, and I'm beginning to see the truth in that. Honestly, it's a little scary to think about, because it leads me to believe that before I'm really ready, it will be time to leave IWU, put what I've learned into practice, and be fully independent. Good thing I'm only a sophomore, because I'm surely not ready for that yet.

Thinking back over my freshman year, I'm not sure I took full advantage of all the opportunities that were presented to me--social, academic and otherwise. I wish I would have signed up to be a mentor, help with NSO, something to push me outside my shell. I kept to myself a lot, never really interacting with the other Shatford girls. As a result, I felt like no one outside of my unit really knew me. I had friends in other dorms, and toward the end of the year my social skills definitely improved, but looking back, I would have stepped outside myself more and let people get to know me. That's the first thing on my list to change for this year.

This has been a summer of change for me (and I don't just mean my perm and new ear piercings.) I feel like my HEART has changed. I spent much too much of this summer focused on my job--I worked 8 hours a day, 5 days a week so I didn't have much of a choice. But by the end of my run, I was so physically and mentally exhausted that it was difficult to drag myself out of bed each morning. I felt like my priorities were entirely off. Most days, it didn't even feel like God was on my list of things to be concerned with, and that concerned me. More than that, I was spending my entire summer doing something that I didn't really enjoy. Yes, the money was a plus, but I felt like I could have been doing something more...something I enjoyed. After coming to this realization, I am seriously considering whether or not I will be returning to the Fort Wayne Children's Zoo next summer, because only after I was able to get time away from my job did I feel like I could refocus myself again. In this time, I've become convicted that I'm so tired of living lukewarm for God. This year, I am determined to live passionately and wholeheartedly for Him. I don't feel like I did that last year, so that's another thing that's definitely going to change.

So, in conclusion, here's my to-do list this year:

1. Fall in deep, passionate love with God
2. Step outside my shell
3. Push myself academically
4. Take life as it comes

Here's to another year, even better than the last :)