"Christianity means nothing to them unless it means everything to us."
The name of the pastor who is the author of this statement escapes me, but when it was quoted during the sermon at church tonight, it really stuck with me. It got me thinking about how strongly I live out my faith each day, and how big a part it plays in my daily life. How often do I express the importance of Christ in my life to those around me? Sometimes, I fear, not often enough.
According to statistics, 70% of Americans call themselves Christians, but only 40% can be found in church on any given Sunday. Of that 40% of regular church attenders, I wonder what percentage actually has an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ? Ask any person on the street who they believe Jesus was, and chances are, they would tell you that they've heard of Jesus. Most might even believe that he existed, and others might tell you that he was a good man or a prophet. But how many would answer that He was their Lord, Savior, and Friend, a crucial presence in their daily existence?
It is possible to know Jesus without really knowing Him. Matthew 7:21-23 says "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but only he who does the will of my father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, evildoers!" Knowing Jesus and having a relationship with Him requires much more than believing He existed, and it even requires more than doing good deeds in His name. We are called to "be ready to give an answer for the hope that we have." Having a personal, intimate relationship with Jesus requires an intimate knowledge of who He is, and the ability to reinforce those beliefs with scripture. If it is not evident in our daily interactions with others that we know Jesus on a deep, personal level, we can have no hope of being a light to those who do not.
I don't claim to have it all figured out. I have to work at my faith every day, sometimes harder than should be necessary after six years of calling myself a Christian. I've made mistakes, learned from them, and been changed along the way. I'm nowhere near perfect, and I never will be. But thankfully, I serve a God who is.
My Jesus is my savior.
My Jesus is my deliverer.
My Jesus is my friend.
My Jesus is my rock.
My Jesus is beautiful.
My Jesus is the healer of the afflicted.
My Jesus is eternal.
My Jesus is the Lord of my life.
My Jesus is the King of Kings.
My Jesus is the Son of God.
My Jesus is love beyond compare.
That's my Jesus. Do you know Him?
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
spring break!
after a week of crazy cramming and late nights, the students of IWU finally have a moment to breathe. A whole week of moments.
A whole week of home.
Of relaxation.
Of reunions.
Of reenergizing.
No schedules, no professors, no textbooks. (well, not for a few days, anyway. I brought home a bagload.)
Ahh, lovely.
Enjoy it, everyone :)
A whole week of home.
Of relaxation.
Of reunions.
Of reenergizing.
No schedules, no professors, no textbooks. (well, not for a few days, anyway. I brought home a bagload.)
Ahh, lovely.
Enjoy it, everyone :)
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
God, give me strength.
Have you ever spent a night waiting for a phone call that never seems to come? That's me tonight. As such, I'm not in a great mood for writing, but I need to calm myself somehow, and this usually seems to do it. I won't be writing anything of huge importance, but in my time at the prayer chapel last night, I was reading through 2 Corinthians, and I decided to share a few verses that stuck out to me.
So here they are, no explanations, no embellishments. Just God's word speaking for itself. Enjoy.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too."
--->1:3-5
"For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the afflicton we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raifses the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again."
--->1:8-10
"Was I vacillating when I wanted to do this? Do i make my plans according to the flesh, ready to say 'yes, yes' and 'no, no' at the same time? As surely as God is faithful, our word to you has not been Yes and No. For the son of God, Jesus Christ, whom we proclaimed among you, Silvanus, Timothy and I, was not Yes and No, but in him it is always Yes. For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory. And it is God who establishes us with you in Christ, and has anointed us, and who has put his seal on us and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee."
--->1:17-21
"But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God's word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God in the sight of God as we speak in Christ."
--->2:14-17
"Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart. But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God's word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone's conscience in the sight of God. And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled only to those who are perishing. In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."
--->4:1-6
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forgotten; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.For we who are live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh."
--->4:7-11
"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."
--->4:16-18
"For we know that if the tent, which is our earthly home, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longingto put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened--not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us fo this very thing is God, who has given us the spirit as a guarantee. So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we must make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil."
--->5:1-10
"From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of our reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting the tresspasses against us, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation."
--->5:16-19
"Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God."
--->7:1
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
--->12:9-10
So here they are, no explanations, no embellishments. Just God's word speaking for itself. Enjoy.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too."
--->1:3-5
"For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the afflicton we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raifses the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again."
--->1:8-10
"Was I vacillating when I wanted to do this? Do i make my plans according to the flesh, ready to say 'yes, yes' and 'no, no' at the same time? As surely as God is faithful, our word to you has not been Yes and No. For the son of God, Jesus Christ, whom we proclaimed among you, Silvanus, Timothy and I, was not Yes and No, but in him it is always Yes. For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory. And it is God who establishes us with you in Christ, and has anointed us, and who has put his seal on us and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee."
--->1:17-21
"But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God's word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God in the sight of God as we speak in Christ."
--->2:14-17
"Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart. But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God's word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone's conscience in the sight of God. And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled only to those who are perishing. In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."
--->4:1-6
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forgotten; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.For we who are live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh."
--->4:7-11
"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."
--->4:16-18
"For we know that if the tent, which is our earthly home, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longingto put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened--not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us fo this very thing is God, who has given us the spirit as a guarantee. So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we must make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil."
--->5:1-10
"From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of our reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting the tresspasses against us, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation."
--->5:16-19
"Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God."
--->7:1
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
--->12:9-10
Monday, February 22, 2010
I am not.
I'm beginning to enjoy making this a part of my daily routine. I forgot how freeing it is to just sit quietly and write, even if no one reads it :)
My mood improved drastically after my "apathetic" post yesterday. I got out of bed, finished watching a movie on Youtube that I had started the night before (a recent, and very good, adaptation of Jane Austen's "Emma" that I had never seen), worked out for half an hour, spent some quality Jesus time in the prayer chapel, and spent the rest of the evening out with my roommate and a couple new friends I had never really talked to before. So, while my reading didn't get done for this morning, I enjoyed my day immensely :)
I spent my time in the prayer chapel reading through the last half of Job, and as I did, God began to impress something very important on my heart: I am not, nor will I ever be, God, and it is time that I stopped pretending otherwise.
Some of you may know the situation that's been causing such a struggle in my life lately. I may have even mentioned it in my first post, I can't remember. Anyway, because of that, I've been having serious trust issues in the past few months to the point that I'm not even sure how to pray about it anymore since what I want and what God might want are not exactly lining up. I feel selfish praying for what I want to happen, and I WANT to pray for God's will to be carried out, but I am afraid that if I do that I won't like the result. I fear that if MY will isn't done, I will have a difficult time believing that it will someday work out for His good.
As I read through the story of Job, certain verses stuck out to me:
"But He is unchangeable, and who can turn Him back? What He desires, that He does." (23:13)
"Behold, these are but the outskirts of His ways, and how small a whisper do we hear of Him? But the thunder of His power who can understand?" (26:14)
I was also drawn to chapters 38-41, in which the Lord answers Job. His answers come in the form of rhetorical questions:
"where were you when I...?"
"Can you...?"
"Do you know...?"
"Is it by your command that...?"
"Who has...?"
and so on.
Essentially, God is asking Job, "Are you God? Do you know more than I do?" And as I was reading that, I felt God asking me the same thing. I was forced to answer, "I am not." I think this is something we need to remind ourselves daily, especially in times of great trial.
We are not God. We never have been and we never will be. But we serve a God knows infinitely more than we do and is infinitely bigger and more faithful and loving than we can comprehend. "He looks to the ends of the earth and sees everything under the Heavens" (28:24). Even when God does not give us the things we think we need, and when we feel like the world may come crashing down around us at any moment, He will still be there to hold us up.
"But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me, I shall come out as gold...for He will complete what He appoints for me, and many such things are in His mind." (23:10, 14)
My mood improved drastically after my "apathetic" post yesterday. I got out of bed, finished watching a movie on Youtube that I had started the night before (a recent, and very good, adaptation of Jane Austen's "Emma" that I had never seen), worked out for half an hour, spent some quality Jesus time in the prayer chapel, and spent the rest of the evening out with my roommate and a couple new friends I had never really talked to before. So, while my reading didn't get done for this morning, I enjoyed my day immensely :)
I spent my time in the prayer chapel reading through the last half of Job, and as I did, God began to impress something very important on my heart: I am not, nor will I ever be, God, and it is time that I stopped pretending otherwise.
Some of you may know the situation that's been causing such a struggle in my life lately. I may have even mentioned it in my first post, I can't remember. Anyway, because of that, I've been having serious trust issues in the past few months to the point that I'm not even sure how to pray about it anymore since what I want and what God might want are not exactly lining up. I feel selfish praying for what I want to happen, and I WANT to pray for God's will to be carried out, but I am afraid that if I do that I won't like the result. I fear that if MY will isn't done, I will have a difficult time believing that it will someday work out for His good.
As I read through the story of Job, certain verses stuck out to me:
"But He is unchangeable, and who can turn Him back? What He desires, that He does." (23:13)
"Behold, these are but the outskirts of His ways, and how small a whisper do we hear of Him? But the thunder of His power who can understand?" (26:14)
I was also drawn to chapters 38-41, in which the Lord answers Job. His answers come in the form of rhetorical questions:
"where were you when I...?"
"Can you...?"
"Do you know...?"
"Is it by your command that...?"
"Who has...?"
and so on.
Essentially, God is asking Job, "Are you God? Do you know more than I do?" And as I was reading that, I felt God asking me the same thing. I was forced to answer, "I am not." I think this is something we need to remind ourselves daily, especially in times of great trial.
We are not God. We never have been and we never will be. But we serve a God knows infinitely more than we do and is infinitely bigger and more faithful and loving than we can comprehend. "He looks to the ends of the earth and sees everything under the Heavens" (28:24). Even when God does not give us the things we think we need, and when we feel like the world may come crashing down around us at any moment, He will still be there to hold us up.
"But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me, I shall come out as gold...for He will complete what He appoints for me, and many such things are in His mind." (23:10, 14)
Sunday, February 21, 2010
One life.
Porridge and water.
That's the first meal I had access to at dinnertime today, along with 20 million children in Africa who have been left orphaned by AIDS.
The difference between them and me is that right afterward, I got to pile in a car with a few friends and my debit card and squash my hunger with a juicy Wendy's cheeseburger and french fries. Those kids aren't that lucky.
Ironically, my roommate and I were absolutely starving when we went to "poverty meal" and all we could think of was how hungry we were and how desperately we wished we could get something to eat beforehand so we didn't have to eat what they would be serving.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_2GAEzJL6I<---- then, as we were eating our 'meal,' they showed this video. Take a minute and check it out.
Suddenly, I felt so guilty for complaining so much about my hunger when I knew full well that as soon as I got out of there I would have a multitude of food options waiting for me. For those 20 million orphans, that simple meal that we so wanted to avoid is all they have to sustain them for an entire day. In a world where there's a McDonalds around every corner and the majority of our population struggles with obesity, I doubt any of us could comprehend that. I wonder if anyone in America could survive a week living like they do.
drink in these statistics:
Many African women walk six miles every day for water. Average North Americans walk six miles every month.
North American teens spend an average of $101 per week. $101 will send two african children to school for a year.
Every day, Americans spend 1 billion dollars dining out. Every night, 799 million people go to sleep hungry.
Average life expectancy in North America: 77; in Zambia: 35.
In some countries, 1 out of every four people is infected with AIDS.
Eye-opening, isn't it? I don't know about you, but facts like that make me desperately want to go out and do something. There are kids under 10 in Africa being denied a childhood because they are forced to raise themselves. Imagine what they would do for just a small piece of what we have available to us every single day. The thing is, we have the ability to give it to them. It's just a matter of shifting the focus off of our own lives for a minute and thinking globally. We get so caught up in all the unnecessary trappings of life--the newest fashions, the fanciest cars, the latest technologies--while there are countries around the world who lack the most basic necessities. Something about that doesn't make sense to me.
I've noticed lately how quick we have been to rally around Haiti and make sure they have the funds to rebuild their destroyed country, and I applaud America for that, but Haiti is not the only country out there that needs what we have to offer. America has the power and resources to make a huge difference in the world. I firmly believe that.
So tell me, when are we going to make it happen?
That's the first meal I had access to at dinnertime today, along with 20 million children in Africa who have been left orphaned by AIDS.
The difference between them and me is that right afterward, I got to pile in a car with a few friends and my debit card and squash my hunger with a juicy Wendy's cheeseburger and french fries. Those kids aren't that lucky.
Ironically, my roommate and I were absolutely starving when we went to "poverty meal" and all we could think of was how hungry we were and how desperately we wished we could get something to eat beforehand so we didn't have to eat what they would be serving.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_2GAEzJL6I<---- then, as we were eating our 'meal,' they showed this video. Take a minute and check it out.
Suddenly, I felt so guilty for complaining so much about my hunger when I knew full well that as soon as I got out of there I would have a multitude of food options waiting for me. For those 20 million orphans, that simple meal that we so wanted to avoid is all they have to sustain them for an entire day. In a world where there's a McDonalds around every corner and the majority of our population struggles with obesity, I doubt any of us could comprehend that. I wonder if anyone in America could survive a week living like they do.
drink in these statistics:
Many African women walk six miles every day for water. Average North Americans walk six miles every month.
North American teens spend an average of $101 per week. $101 will send two african children to school for a year.
Every day, Americans spend 1 billion dollars dining out. Every night, 799 million people go to sleep hungry.
Average life expectancy in North America: 77; in Zambia: 35.
In some countries, 1 out of every four people is infected with AIDS.
Eye-opening, isn't it? I don't know about you, but facts like that make me desperately want to go out and do something. There are kids under 10 in Africa being denied a childhood because they are forced to raise themselves. Imagine what they would do for just a small piece of what we have available to us every single day. The thing is, we have the ability to give it to them. It's just a matter of shifting the focus off of our own lives for a minute and thinking globally. We get so caught up in all the unnecessary trappings of life--the newest fashions, the fanciest cars, the latest technologies--while there are countries around the world who lack the most basic necessities. Something about that doesn't make sense to me.
I've noticed lately how quick we have been to rally around Haiti and make sure they have the funds to rebuild their destroyed country, and I applaud America for that, but Haiti is not the only country out there that needs what we have to offer. America has the power and resources to make a huge difference in the world. I firmly believe that.
So tell me, when are we going to make it happen?
One is the loneliest number.
Lately, I have become increasingly aware of an overpowering apathy that has taken root in multiple areas of my life, and simply refuses to be moved. I realized this last night when I spent the entire evening alone in my room watching movies on my computer, instead of out experiencing the life that beautiful IWU offers.
First, I have become socially apathetic. I realized that lately, this is where life happens for me when I'm not in class...alone, in my room, on my computer instead of spending time forming new relationships. Don't get me wrong, being the introvert that I am, I need my time alone to reenergize and collect my thoughts. But lately, it feels like i've been having too much of it, and when I'm here, at the place I looked forward to for a year in advance, it doesn't feel normal to me. I don't feel like I'm making as much of my first year as I should be.
Not only have I become socially apathetic, but I've also found myself becoming spiritually apathetic. I go to chapel three times a week as is required, and I go to church most sundays, but that's about as far as it goes. I rarely make time during the week to just BE with God, even though we have a beautiful little prayer chapel on campus for that exact purpose. I always tell myself I will, but something else always ends up being more important. Last semester, I used to go to ALTAR, a student-led college worship service at a local church, nearly every Saturday night. This semester, however, I've been finding excuse after excuse not to go, and I'm not sure why. Most Sundays, I do get up and go to church, but some days, like today, for instance, I decide to sleep in instead.
And last, but not least, I have become academically apathetic. I'm sure there's a lot of students here, and everywhere, who could claim this one, but it's still a big problem. I switched from journalism to social work and psychology this semester, and while I absolutely love it and feel a passion for it, I feel no motivation to keep up with the reading or study for tests. I've been doing okay and keeping my head above water, but I know that I can do better. Four out of my five classes this semester can be related back to my majors. This is what I want to do with the rest of my life. Yet I can find no motivation to increase my knowledge. Maybe it's because spring break is quickly approaching, or maybe it's just me. It's a problem either way.
I don't mind being alone. I never have. But when it feels like I'm retreating into myself 90% of the time, I realize that this is not who I wanted to be in college. In high school, I was always the quiet one. Always. I resolved when I came here that I wanted to be known and that I wanted to make the most of the opportunities that came my way. I resolved that I wanted to grow in my relationship with God. I resolved that I wanted to excel in the classes that would help me in my future career, whatever that might be. Right now, it feels like none of that is happening, and right now, I'm resolving to make an honest effort to improve. I only have four years here (God willing) and so help me, I am going to make them count.
First, I have become socially apathetic. I realized that lately, this is where life happens for me when I'm not in class...alone, in my room, on my computer instead of spending time forming new relationships. Don't get me wrong, being the introvert that I am, I need my time alone to reenergize and collect my thoughts. But lately, it feels like i've been having too much of it, and when I'm here, at the place I looked forward to for a year in advance, it doesn't feel normal to me. I don't feel like I'm making as much of my first year as I should be.
Not only have I become socially apathetic, but I've also found myself becoming spiritually apathetic. I go to chapel three times a week as is required, and I go to church most sundays, but that's about as far as it goes. I rarely make time during the week to just BE with God, even though we have a beautiful little prayer chapel on campus for that exact purpose. I always tell myself I will, but something else always ends up being more important. Last semester, I used to go to ALTAR, a student-led college worship service at a local church, nearly every Saturday night. This semester, however, I've been finding excuse after excuse not to go, and I'm not sure why. Most Sundays, I do get up and go to church, but some days, like today, for instance, I decide to sleep in instead.
And last, but not least, I have become academically apathetic. I'm sure there's a lot of students here, and everywhere, who could claim this one, but it's still a big problem. I switched from journalism to social work and psychology this semester, and while I absolutely love it and feel a passion for it, I feel no motivation to keep up with the reading or study for tests. I've been doing okay and keeping my head above water, but I know that I can do better. Four out of my five classes this semester can be related back to my majors. This is what I want to do with the rest of my life. Yet I can find no motivation to increase my knowledge. Maybe it's because spring break is quickly approaching, or maybe it's just me. It's a problem either way.
I don't mind being alone. I never have. But when it feels like I'm retreating into myself 90% of the time, I realize that this is not who I wanted to be in college. In high school, I was always the quiet one. Always. I resolved when I came here that I wanted to be known and that I wanted to make the most of the opportunities that came my way. I resolved that I wanted to grow in my relationship with God. I resolved that I wanted to excel in the classes that would help me in my future career, whatever that might be. Right now, it feels like none of that is happening, and right now, I'm resolving to make an honest effort to improve. I only have four years here (God willing) and so help me, I am going to make them count.
Friday, February 19, 2010
She loved.
A few people have expressed interest in seeing my writing, so since I haven't written in a while, I decided to give this a try. I can't promise daily updates, but I will do my best.
---------------------------------------------
someone once asked if only you knew
how short life would be, what would you do?
what would they say when God called you home?
what would they engrave once you were gone?
I hope they would see what I've done in my life,
Who I've cared for, and how I survived
I hope they'd say
She loved more than anything else
She loved with all of her heart
She loved everyone she believed in
She loved, oh, she loved
She loved the Lord and served all her life
A sacrificial mother and an honorable wife
She gave all she had, and through every trial
Made life much sweeter because of her smile
Everyone will see what she's done in her life
Who she cared for, and how she survived
And I'm sure they'll say
She loved more than anything else
She loved with all of her heart
She loved everyone she believed in
She loved, oh, she loved
------------------------------------------------------
I heard this beautiful song in church last sunday during the Offering, and the lyrics really resonated with me. If you haven't listened to it, please do, especially you ladies. I can't speak for anyone else, but if I'm not remembered for anything else after I leave this world, I want to be remembered for exactly this--how much I loved. The way I see it, there is no better and no more permanant legacy to leave here after we're gone.
A conversation I had with a friend last night really opened my eyes. She asked me, "Liz, you always say that I can talk to you, but you never ask for anything in return. Why is that?" I wasn't sure how to reply at first. Maybe it's just my nature, but rarey, if ever, has it occurred to me to help someone in a time of discouragement for what I might get in return. It got me thinking, is that really what our world has come to today? It's not enough anymore to simply want to help a person out of love; instead, there has to be something in it for us? I'm pretty sure that that's not the kind of love Christ intended, and it's certainly not the kind of love I choose to show.
In the past semester, God has been showing me the life changing power of the smallest acts of love. I have a very close friend in jail, and he's been on the wrong path for just about as long as I can remember. However, he has recently accepted Christ and he tells me that it's all because I took the time to visit him when he thought he had no one left for him. What I thought was a simple act of kindness turned out to be what turned his entire life around. I had never had an experience like that in my life before, and it really lit a fire in me to affect others in the same way. I'm not an extrovert. I never have been. Going up to someone and verbally sharing Jesus' message has never been my strength. But God is showing me that there are other ways to speak His truth, and they don't all require words.
All this to say, don't underestimate love. God created it, and he created it to be powerful and life-altering. What may mean nothing to you could mean the world to someone else. It's time we stopped being self-centered and started being people-centered. What do you want to be remembered for when you're gone?
---------------------------------------------
someone once asked if only you knew
how short life would be, what would you do?
what would they say when God called you home?
what would they engrave once you were gone?
I hope they would see what I've done in my life,
Who I've cared for, and how I survived
I hope they'd say
She loved more than anything else
She loved with all of her heart
She loved everyone she believed in
She loved, oh, she loved
She loved the Lord and served all her life
A sacrificial mother and an honorable wife
She gave all she had, and through every trial
Made life much sweeter because of her smile
Everyone will see what she's done in her life
Who she cared for, and how she survived
And I'm sure they'll say
She loved more than anything else
She loved with all of her heart
She loved everyone she believed in
She loved, oh, she loved
------------------------------------------------------
I heard this beautiful song in church last sunday during the Offering, and the lyrics really resonated with me. If you haven't listened to it, please do, especially you ladies. I can't speak for anyone else, but if I'm not remembered for anything else after I leave this world, I want to be remembered for exactly this--how much I loved. The way I see it, there is no better and no more permanant legacy to leave here after we're gone.
A conversation I had with a friend last night really opened my eyes. She asked me, "Liz, you always say that I can talk to you, but you never ask for anything in return. Why is that?" I wasn't sure how to reply at first. Maybe it's just my nature, but rarey, if ever, has it occurred to me to help someone in a time of discouragement for what I might get in return. It got me thinking, is that really what our world has come to today? It's not enough anymore to simply want to help a person out of love; instead, there has to be something in it for us? I'm pretty sure that that's not the kind of love Christ intended, and it's certainly not the kind of love I choose to show.
In the past semester, God has been showing me the life changing power of the smallest acts of love. I have a very close friend in jail, and he's been on the wrong path for just about as long as I can remember. However, he has recently accepted Christ and he tells me that it's all because I took the time to visit him when he thought he had no one left for him. What I thought was a simple act of kindness turned out to be what turned his entire life around. I had never had an experience like that in my life before, and it really lit a fire in me to affect others in the same way. I'm not an extrovert. I never have been. Going up to someone and verbally sharing Jesus' message has never been my strength. But God is showing me that there are other ways to speak His truth, and they don't all require words.
All this to say, don't underestimate love. God created it, and he created it to be powerful and life-altering. What may mean nothing to you could mean the world to someone else. It's time we stopped being self-centered and started being people-centered. What do you want to be remembered for when you're gone?
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